Archive for the ‘Life Lessons’ Category
I’m in one of those awkward, uncomfortable places again. (And no, I’m not talking about the Ladies Room.) I continue to wrestle with the meaning of “significance” for my life. My head is filled with lies that I’ve allowed to infiltrate my heart, making me restless, discontent, and anxious. Covered by a smothering blanket of depression.
I’m cursed with a 45 minute commute each way to the office, which actually has the decided benefit of blessing me with some of my best thinking time. I’m a thinker, a processor of information, and I need this thinking time to make decisions and come to conclusions. For Bugs Bunny fans, I’m more like Marvin the Martian than Hugo in the Abominable Snow Rabbit episode. (I’m also kind of a random thinker.) This morning I made a little bit of sense out of what I’ve been feeling. It all comes down to lies and truth.
The Lies
I’ve surrounded myself with a bunch of ideas that reflect popular viewpoints in our culture today.
It’s about who I know. Being part of the “popular” crowd, aligning myself with influencers, seeking shallow friendships with “cool” individuals who by association will make me appear to have it all together. Investing my time and energy in the wrong places.
It’s about how I feel. If I allow myself to “feel” useless, unwanted, incapable, and untalented, then I must be those things.
It’s about what I do. Being a vice president, owner, partner, author, speaker, or having another “prestigious” role will clearly make life worth living. Not having any of those titles just proves how insignificant I am.
It’s about what I have. The latest technology gadgets, new clothes, big house, and feature-rich cars mean that I’ve made it.
It’s about my image. Revealing only the parts of myself that won’t embarrass me or show my weaknesses. Hiding behind masks of composure, style, physical appearance, and carefully scripted interpersonal engagements. Keeping up with the Joneses. Or maybe the Kardashians.
The Truth
I’m slowly beginning to shatter those lies. My value and worth is based on an entirely different standard.
It’s about Who I know. I am a follower of Jesus Christ and know that He lives within me. My relationship with Him gives me my identity – not my things, my job, or my friends. All of those things won’t last, but my security with Christ is for eternity.
It’s about believing without evidence. Much of the time I don’t feel like a child of God, deeply loved and cherished. But the bible says that I am: “No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.” (John 16:27) Feelings are deceptive. God’s word is unfailing.
It’s about the richness of my relationships. I have the most amazing wife who puts me first, loves me when I’m unlovable, and believes in me when I can’t believe in myself. I have two amazing kids who challenge me in every possible way, daily chipping away at my impatience, intolerance, and selfishness. I have deep friendships with a handful of guys that I would label as “2 AM Friends.” Brothers I can call on any time of day or night to walk with me through pain and sorrow, pray with me and for me, and give me wise counsel.
It’s about making a difference. Most of the time it’s not about the job or profession that I have or the position that I hold, but about the people surrounding me. Jobs are temporary – people are forever. Showing compassion to a co-worker with serious health or family issues, being available to listen when a colleague’s marriage is crumbling and pointing him to the truth of God’s love and hope, or rejoicing with a cubicle neighbor whose child was accepted to an Ivy League school – this is what it’s all about.
It’s about my character. The consistency (or inconsistency) of my behavior at home, at the office, or in Sunday morning church has a lot to do with the willingness of others to trust me. Am I living what I say I believe? Or am I a hypocrite and a liar? My behavior should reflect the purity and intentions of the Holy Spirit living in me.
It’s about being real. When I dig deep and find the courage to reveal my true self, I find freedom. Realizing that no one has their act completely together gives me comfort to just be me. The real me that I’ve been ashamed of, embarrassed by, and scared of for most of my life is becoming a close friend that I enjoy time with. I don’t worry so much about whether others feel the same. To not be me is to deny God’s work in my life. I just can’t do that anymore.
I’m a work in progress. I need these truths to infiltrate my heart each and every day, but it takes intentionality and discipline. I guess that’s the next area I need to focus on!
What lies do you tell yourself? What are the truths that overcome those lies?
On my way into the office this morning a song from Colbie Caillat’s new record came on my satellite radio, “Dream Life, Life.” The central theme resonated with me, the concept of actually living out my desires, pursuing my passions and being the man God created me to be. Learning to say “yes” to the future instead of remaining stuck in self-doubt and lethargy. Colbie sings:
All I want is the dream life
To be my real life
How could that be wrong?
We all have dreams. I think some are fairly universal, while others are definitely unique to us as individuals. So, what are a few of my dreams?
- I dream that I actually dream more. I’m getting tired of surviving on five hours of sleep every night. (Do you see what I did there?)
- I dream that the work I get paid to do is so engaging that even without a paycheck I would still pursue it.
- I dream that I consistently cultivate my talent for writing. That I would have a clear vision of what I want to do with it and would begin to see that vision fulfilled.
- I dream that my children are fully prepared for life and have the skills to tackle their own difficult situations with confidence and poise. When we launch them from the nest, I dream they soar like eagles and not boomerangs.
- I dream that my wife and I eventually find work we can do together – whether that’s building a consulting practice or taking tickets at the Magic Kingdom turnstiles at Disney World while chatting up the tourists. I dream that 24/7 togetherness with me and my quirky habits won’t drive her over the edge.
- I dream that I can show my family the world through travel adventures that bond us as a family, build lasting memories, and expand our world and our worldview.
- I dream that that I have several superpowers. I want the power to fly, the power of invisibility, and the power of super-metabolism. Awesome.
Take a look at my list again. These things are certainly not beyond the realm of possibility, but they do require intentionality. (You’ll want to debate me on the superpowers, but you’ll lose.) They require effort, planning, and perseverance. I want my dream life. Do you?
Workin’ hard for my dream life
To be my real life
And I can’t be wrong
All we have is this life
Let’s make it what we want
What’s on your Dream Life list? What are you doing to make it your Real Life?
Have you noticed the name of my blog? I chose Authentic Ramblings because, well, I like to write about random stuff (rambling) but through it all I want you to get to know the real me (authentic). My writing reflects my journey in life. Most of the time I can find humor in the most frustrating of circumstances and I’ve learned to just lighten up and not take myself so seriously. When I choose not to worry or care about what others might think of me, I have more fun in life because I experience freedom to be who I was created to be.
For me, probably the most unsettling and seemingly humiliating life experiences occur when the choice to be vulnerable and the “real me” is not my own, but is made for me through circumstance. When the timing feels premature and I’m not quite ready to lower the mask I’ve been hiding behind. How does one gracefully handle a situation where that mask is unexpectedly ripped away and there’s no way to “save face”? I’ve had numerous experiences like this during my life, but two that really stand out.
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